Your relationship with your in-law may never run good. It even give you headaches each time you in-law pays a visit and family gathering event may be your least favored event of the year. The following tips may be useful to rebuild a healthy relationship with your in-law. At least it works for me.
You and your in-law come from different generation, off course there are many different view. The old times way of doing things may no longer relevant these days. However wrong you think your in law’s opinion is, please hold yourself from making any critics.
Respect, respect, respect
This may be difficult for you as you may think that your perhaps domineering and interfering in-law does not deserve it. However, please respect her anyway, she is the mother of your spouse, and as long as you respect your spouse you should respect the woman who give birth and raised him.
Do together something you and your in-law like to do.
Ask your in-law to accompany you to do something that you both like such as shopping or gardening. Be kind enough to break the ice and initiate conversation. Always be wise if you would like to touch personal issue in the conversation.
A simple Christmas gift or birthday present won’t hurt.
Your in-law will feel appreciated even if it does not really matter to you. When I give my in-law a sleeping gown, only a short thank you come out of her mouth but a few days later she wears it and said that it was lovely and she feels comfortable in it. I am happy to hear it and afterward giving Christmas and birthday present to my in-law become sort of tradition for me.
Define your private boundaries.
Without reducing the level of respect to your in-law, do define your private boundaries, the area in which
Pick up the phone and just say hi.
Many mothers feel like they are losing their son, by the time they got married. The mother can no longer freely ask their son to fix the broken roof for example or to drop by anytime. The mother also feels that her son no longer needs him and only contact her when the son need favor from her such as babysitting the grandchildren. Thus, takes initiative to just pick up the phone and give a warn hello. A little chit chat will probably make your in-law’s day. She will feel appreciated.
Invite your in-law over to play with grandchildren.
No one can deny the power of grandchildren in uniting mother and daughter in-law. It may not a bad idea to invite the grandmother to spend some time with your children.
Make it clear to your spouse that you want to be his number one priority.
This is the trickiest and yet the most important. Many mother-daughter in-law troubles can usually be stemming from the jealous feeling between the mother and the wife. If you can make your spouse understand that despite the toleration and respect that you two should always give to your mother in-law, you would still be the number one priority in your spouse’s life.